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Off the Wire: The Good, The Bad and the Ugly
Katerina Apostolides & John Beski News That Doesn't Matter
November 2004

Keep on the alert while your premier reconnaissance tool, The Yale Free Press, brings you monthly updates on Yale’s Ivy League competitors! This month, join us in the armpit of America as we report on Princeton’s latest happenings.

The Good

To Princeton’s credit, it has finally decided to counter the effects of grade inflation by introducing quintile ranking to student academic records. Nancy Malkiel, Dean of the College, observed that quintile ranking would give students “a context in which to understand what their grades mean.” Giving Princeton students an actual measure of their academic performance is both new and noteworthy; however, the Daily Princetonian reports, some students fear that the better students will use this system for “self-promotion.” Sympathizing with our colleagues, the YFP urges Princetonians to work for the elimination of all written transcripts and their dangerously informative tendencies.

Early in November, student performance groups presented “An Evening for Darfur,” a benefit for Oxfam’s Emergency Relief Fund to aid humanitarian efforts in war-torn Sudan. While most governments continue to turn a blind eye to the crisis, at least on-campus student groups can be counted on to fight for justice. If only Princeton’s Rifle Club would volunteer their services.

The Bad

With flu season about to hit, Princeton announced a shortage of vaccines. University Health Services will be administering this vaccine only to students with “serious medical conditions that render them at greater risk to serious complications of influenza.” Everyone else must resort to “washing their hands” and “coughing into tissues,” according to Chief Medical Officer Daniel Silverman. University officials also reported that they will prioritize vaccinations according to CDC guidelines, so students under the age of six or over the age of sixtyfive need not worry.

The Ugly

Charles and Marie Robertson added new allegations in June to their two-year-old attack on the University, alleging that the administration misspent more than $100 million of the family’s gift on unauthorized projects. A member of the class of ‘26, Charles Robertson gave the University $35 million dollars in 1961 for the purpose of training government officials in the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs. Robertson’s son, William, who is also a Princeton grad, is fighting for control of the foundation his father’s contribution helped create. He charges that the University has failed to direct the money toward its specified purpose.

The Yale Free Press would like to take this moment to note that any money sent to our Child Labor Fund will be used solely for the purchase of gruel and dishwater to nourish our typesetting orphans.


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