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Off the Wire:
The Good, The Bad and the Ugly
Katerina Apostolides & John Beski • News That Doesn't Matter
November 2004 |
Keep on the alert while your premier reconnaissance tool, The Yale Free
Press, brings you monthly updates on Yale’s Ivy League competitors!
This month, join us in the armpit of America as we report on Princeton’s
latest happenings.
The Good
To Princeton’s credit, it has finally
decided to counter the effects of grade
inflation by introducing quintile
ranking to student academic
records. Nancy Malkiel, Dean of the
College, observed that quintile
ranking would give students “a
context in which to understand
what their grades mean.” Giving
Princeton students an actual
measure of their academic
performance is both new and
noteworthy; however, the Daily
Princetonian reports, some students
fear that the better students will use
this system for “self-promotion.”
Sympathizing with our colleagues,
the YFP urges Princetonians to work
for the elimination of all written
transcripts and their dangerously
informative tendencies.
Early in November, student
performance groups presented “An
Evening for Darfur,” a benefit for
Oxfam’s Emergency Relief Fund to aid
humanitarian efforts in war-torn
Sudan. While most governments
continue to turn a blind eye to the
crisis, at least on-campus student
groups can be counted on to fight for
justice. If only Princeton’s Rifle Club
would volunteer their services.
The Bad
With flu season about to hit,
Princeton announced a shortage of
vaccines. University Health
Services will be administering this
vaccine only to students with
“serious medical conditions that
render them at greater risk to
serious complications of influenza.”
Everyone else must resort to
“washing their hands” and
“coughing into tissues,” according
to Chief Medical Officer Daniel
Silverman. University officials also
reported that they will prioritize
vaccinations according to CDC
guidelines, so students under the
age of six or over the age of sixtyfive
need not worry.
The Ugly
Charles and Marie Robertson
added new allegations in June to
their two-year-old attack on the
University, alleging that the
administration misspent more than
$100 million of the family’s gift on
unauthorized projects. A member of
the class of ‘26, Charles Robertson
gave the University $35 million
dollars in 1961 for the purpose of
training government officials in the
Woodrow Wilson School of Public
and International Affairs.
Robertson’s son, William, who is also
a Princeton grad, is fighting for
control of the foundation his father’s
contribution helped create. He
charges that the University has failed
to direct the money toward its
specified purpose.
The Yale Free Press would like to take this moment to note that
any money sent to our Child Labor Fund will be used solely for the purchase
of gruel and dishwater to nourish our typesetting orphans.
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