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Media Watch
November 2004

They’re getting new staff?
“UHS opens doors to the healthconscious”
-Sarah Mishkin, YDN, 10.08.04

Ignorance is bliss
“What do children in the Mississippi Delta know about Model UN conferences, about hatha yoga, organic farming, improvisational comedy or even Yale?”
-Chong-Hao Fu, YDN, 10.20.04

Thy will be done
“Go to sleep each night praying that it is not a close election.”
-Norm Ornstein, YDN, 10.21.04

Lorena Bobbit would be proud
“She both steals the scene and adeptly carves out a palpable climax to the show.”
-Violet Woodward Pu, YDN, 10.22.04

It affects whether or not you pay
for my clap, though

“The outcome of the national elections will affect the course of your life over the next four years more than any histrionic agonizing you can do now. It will not, however, affect whether or not you end up with the clap.”
-Haley Edwards, YDN, 10.22.04

At least it won’t involve an hopes
“But four years from now, the same exact guy we elect in 11 days will still be scratching himself in the Oval Office.”
-Haley Edwards, YDN, 10.22.04

Some exhibits unsuitable for children under 13
“The museum currently features an exhibit called ‘Women and the Sea’ highlighting the role of women both on the water and on shore while the men were away.”
-Andrea McKenna, YDN, 10.22.04

Oppressed by the Man
“Cops suck. Within the last twenty four hours that I had my car, I got three tickets and I nearly got my car towed twice.“
-Amy Wojnarwsky, YDN, 10.22.04

Ancient signs of virility
“ ‘Guys should go there to take a sailing class, because girls love guys who pop their collars and know how to sail,’ Blanchard said in an e-mail. … As to the ladies, Blanchard suggested they go ‘to find guys who pop their collars and know how to sail.’”
-Andrea McKenna, YDN, 10.22.04

Wait, so he’s mute?
“He can either cower within the confines of his suite, or confront the onslaught of propaganda by sporting Republican campaign gear.”
-Keith Urbahn, YDN, 10.26.04

Tonight on 20/20
“Sleep deprivation is a fact of life at Yale and campuses across the nation.”
-Max Gladstone, YDN, 10.27.04

Denial, anger, depression, acceptance — it’s natural
“Residents cope with toxic waste”
-Headline, YDN, 10.28.04

Prescription Canadian candy bars
“I’m pretty confident the Kerrys give out full-sized candy bars.”
-Liz Kinsley, YDN, 10.29.04

Not that he’s thinking of any specific news network…
“ ‘It’s heartbreaking that the United States has no taste for balanced, fact-based news.’ ”
-Bill Baker, YDN, 10.29.04

Exploiting the masses
“Sphere: What do you believe is wrong with democracy? Bruce Ackerman: Ignorance. … I don’t think that you’re going to get citizens by clobbering them over the head. You need carrots; you need incentives; you need encouragement to be the citizen you can be.”
-Whitney Sparks, Sphere, 10.29.04

John DeStefano has a plan
“New Haven Mayor John DeStefano Jr. recently announced a plan to reduce the city of New Haven’s $9 million budget deficit to $4.2 million by the end of the fiscal year, in part by voluntary contributions from unnamed sources that will possibly include Yale.”
-Max Gladstone, YDN, 11.02.04

Make love, not war
“Neither [Bush nor Kerry] will so much as fondle the grossly obese Pentagon budget...”
-Michael Seringhaus, YDN, 11.03.04

Bring out your dead
“On the bright side, at least we already know what to expect … essentially a regression back to the Middle Ages.”
-Alicia Washington, YDN, 11.04.04

Typical econ major
“It’s the only game in which you can have sex with a prostitute, and then when she gets out of the car shoot her in the face and get your money back.”
-James Burch, The Yale Herald, 11.05.04

The truth: Bush is an Islamist
“Bush has polarized the nation, and its conservatism is more onpar with the conservatism of the Middle Eastern countries we so loathe than with that of any Western nation.”
-Jessamyn Blau, YDN, 11.05.04


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