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Media Watch
Yale Notes
January 2003

Media Watch

Shut up
“SJP talks back and sets the record straight”
— Title of op-ed by Aravinda Ananda and Ross Anderson, YDN, 11/21/2002

Justice for the Israelis! Death to the Israelis!
“SJP sees divestment a means of attaining peace, justice and reconciliation for Israelis and Palestinians alike.”
— Aravinda Ananda and Ross Anderson, YDN, 11/21/2002

And where every child of a dining hall worker gets a teddy bear
“What we expressed today was really powerful. We need to come together and shape a Yale where there are Native American ethnic counselors, where workers get paid more than $7 an hour, where students are not threatened with arrest, where employees are not arrested, and where New Haven is… a partner.”
— Zach Schwartz-Weinstein, YDN, 11/21/2002

And who let you out?
“I think Yale students really don’t realize how much New Haven politics affect them. Yale students tend to just think inside the gates.”
— Alan Kennedy-Shaffer, YDN, 11/21/2002

Let bygones be bygones
“In future elections, the GNHYD [Greater New Haven Young Democrats] will try to actively involve its members in helping Democratic candidates’ campaigns, with an emphasis on each member’s personal convictions rather than ‘playing party politics’.”
— Erica Youngstrom, YDN, 11/21/2002

Death before relevance!
“YCC advises switch to ‘fair trade’ coffee”
YDN headline, Katherine Stevens, YDN, 11/14/2002

Is that a hacking sound I hear?
“YCC member and resolution author Matthew Nickson ’03 said he has been talking to many members of the administration about replacing the current coffee offered in dining halls with the fair trade coffee. Nickson is a former Yale Daily News editorials editor.”
— Katherine Stevens, YDN, 11/14/2002

And on the sixth day, Nickson flavored the coffee
“Nickson said that since no fair trade flavored coffees currently exist, the same standards would not be required until such coffees come into existence.”
— Katherine Stevens, YDN, 11/14/2002

Clear your throat?
“I frequently hear moaning noises coming from my suitemate’s room when she’s hooking up. I feel like I should tell her, but I don’t know what to say. Any suggestions?”
— Sean McBride and Jessica Tom, YDN Magazine, November 2002

The same way as when you see your work in Media Watch
“Imagine how you feel when someone opens the door of your dressing room, or when someone finds you picking your nose. Without a word from the other person, you will probably lock the door and take that crusty finger out.”
— Sean McBride and Jessica Tom, YDN Magazine, November 2002

Movin’ on up!
“Rovzar builds his resume with geriatric nudity.”
— Chris Rovzar, YDN Magazine, November 2002

It’s raining prune-shaped men!
“At the first instant, I was thrilled. Working all summer surrounded by naked men! Who could ask for anything more?”
— Chris Rovzar, YDN Magazine, November 2002

A seminar in the Gay Studies department?
“I saw an 80-year-old man blowdrying the hair in his own ass crack.”
— Chris Rovzar, YDN Magazine, November 2002

Choking on what?
“I tried to look chipper as I said it, but somewhere deep down my inner Richard Simmons was choking.”
— Chris Rovzar, YDN Magazine, November 2002

If only the Romans had blowdryers
“Oh, and my co-lifeguard and I figured out halfway through the summer why they used so many towels, too. Apparently when you are old and rich, you do not use toilet paper. You use towels. Then you leave them on the ground for the ‘help’ to pick up and launder. Then, if you’re especially decadent, you blow-dry the hair in you ass-crack.”
— Chris Rovzar, YDN Magazine, November 2002

Am Stud senior theses are getting more creative
“A Yale senior was arrested in late October and charged with nine counts of ballot fraud, city sources said Sunday.”
— Marlon S. Castillon and Brendan Kearney, YDN, 11/4/2002

Raymond Shaw is the kindest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life
“Michael Montano is one of the most ethical, law-abiding people I know.”
— Shonu Gandhi, YDN, 11/4/2002

The mark of a true Yale man
“When asked to define the ideal fraternity man, the Theta girls could only offer one characteristic: he should be good at beer pong.”
— Paige Austin, YDN, 11/12/2002

Why not both?
“We are looking for the guys who walk up the stairs behind you in case you fall, not to look at your butt.”
— Corey Adams, YDN, 11/12/2002

To know the Good is to do the Good
“The fact of the matter is a sorority knows the best men on campus. Everywhere we go, they do.”
— Corey Adams, YDN, 11/12/2002

So did you blow up a New Haven school bus?
“This week is a week of action and solidarity with the Palestinian people.”
— Badr Albanna, YDN, 11/12/2002

Did you expect Club Med?
“When I was in prison, as anybody should know, the conditions were horrible. It’s just a bad place to be, even without the [stereotypes]. They treat you like an animal, you get 23 and a half-hour lockdown. It’s a terrible place to be.”
— Shelton Tucker, YDN, 10/16/02

White?
“That was the first time I was ever in a white person’s home and he was my friend. We were the same.… That’s when I knew that there was another side to life. That made me say, ‘This is what I want to be.’”
— Rev. David Lee, The New Journal, November 2002

He also does Bar Mitzvahs and Weddings
“But Lee’s God, as he tells his congregation, is a God who turns weaknesses into strengths and mishaps into miracles.”
— Matthew Underwood, The New Journal, November 2002

Gender equality is ours!
“You say that women don’t have a scrotum, but oh, we have a labia.”
— Carol Queen, YDN, 10/31/2002

Well, one can always get a Dean’s Excuse
“You can change the size of your labia if you really want, but it takes a lot of work and I think you all are a little too busy with midterms.”
— Carol Queen, YDN, 10/31/2002

Hot off the truck
“Queen also showed some of the wares she sells at her San Francisco sex emporium, Good Vibrations, ranging from a buttplug to the Hitachi magic wand, described by Queen as the ‘Cadillac of vibrators.’”
— Stephen Butler, YDN, 10/31/2002

Think globally; act locally
“…dropping bombs on Baghdad is not the right way to enact change in Iraq, just as dropping bombs on City Hall is not the right way to enact change in New Haven.”
— Matthew Matera, YDN, 10/31/2002

Down time at a YFP production meeting
“The zombies – 16 by the end of the show – roamed among the tables at the small dinner theater, smoked joints, delivered self-consciously bad jokes, and made the most of every spurt of fake blood.”
— Emily Anthes, YDN, 10/25/2002

Le Resistance Lives On!
“Shouting ‘Whose streets? Our Streets!,” students and civil activists marched to the Whalley Avenue Jail Tuesday as part of a national day of protests against police brutality.”
— Ricardo Sandoval, YDN, 10/23/2002

Going out on a limb
“On the way to the courthouse, some of the protesters carried and wore signs that read ‘People Against Injustice.’”
— Ricardo Sandoval, YDN, 10/23/2002

Yale Notes

The latest issue of Light & Truth contained a rather long polemic regarding the lack of manners of modern Yalensians for buttering their bread at the bread stand rather than at their table. L&T staff are tired of “encountering jackanapes, ne’erdo- wells, and shiftless nincompoops.” Well, that’s how we feel when we read a new issue of L&T.

Speaking of jackanapes, the YCC has decided to eliminate associate positions. It seems that resumé padding has turned into an elitist activity.

Apparently, a number of Yalies did not get that the backpage ad in the October issue of the YFP, featuring an advertisement from the Post-Modernist Society for a poetry reading by NJ Poet Laureate Amiri Baraka, was a joke. Inquiries to the editor ranged from “Could I get more information about the Post-Modernist Society?” to “Why are they meeting on Thanksgiving?” Why the phrase “Come celebrate the death of meaning.” in the ad did not tip them off to the ad’s sarcasm, is beyond us. The editor weeps for our youth.

In the last week, no matter which coffee shop one visited, one could not help but overhear some GESO goon trying to “convince” another graduate student to join the Dark Side. It seems that Vader’s, err... Anita Seth’s troops are getting desperate. Speaking of GESO, rumor has it that the History department is preparing for a contingency plan in the case of a union strike. Given the high propensity for History TA’s to be members of GESO, this is not surprising. Hey hey ho ho Union Busting’s the way to go.

A new shoe store, Thom Brown, has opened on Broadway. Now we can all dress like tragically hip pomo comp-lit graduate students. All part of Broadway Redevelopment.

The reason for the cold weather over the past several weeks is that the YFP has sucked the heat from the atmosphere to keep the typing monkeys warm and cozy so they don’t go on strike. We’re always glad to do our part in the battle against global warming.


 
 

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