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Yale Notes
Media Watch
Commencement 2004

Yale Notes

On Sunday, April 25, 2004, the Capital District March for Women’s Lives Coalition, led by Upper Hudson Planned Parenthood, brought over 350 local residents to Washington, D.C. for the March for Women’s Lives. Yale activists joined over one million men, women and youth in one of the largest marches on Washington in U.S. history to “stop the erosion of women’s reproductive health and rights.” The Yale Free Press encourages anyone who has problems with government policy to march right down to Washington and yell about it. Waving flags and tooting horns in support of failing programs is a sure way to make politicians hear your intellectual arguments and take them seriously. And why not bring some dead babies along for pathos—Bush can’t handle the sight of them. It’s sure to be a winning strategy.

Yale University will be holding its 303rd Commencement on May 24th. On May 23rd, Class Day, filmmaker Ken Burns will be speaking on Old Campus. Burns’ The Civil War has won universal acclaim, as well as his Emmy Award-winning 1994 film Baseball. He is now working on a series on the history of jazz scheduled for release in the year 2000.

The Yale Free Press would like to thank graduating seniors Casey Lee, Steve Christoforou, and Sergio Vazquez, for their past contributions and roles in the swaggering cannon of ideology that is the YFP. It hopes that they will continue the wonderful career that they have begun here at Yale.

The YFP is also proud to announce the visit of Al Gore to campus last month. He spoke to Yale students about the “Climate Emergency” that we will all be facing very shortly. He made ominous descriptions of the coming collision between our civilization and the earth. Now all Yale students know that human growth is bad and we should starve the people in India and China because they’re using too much energy. The YFP may also limit future publications in order to increase tree growth and decrease carbon dioxide levels.

Media Watch

If liberals used the words “competence,” “intelligent,” “not-stupid” any more…
“If George W. Bush, DC ’68, used the word “liberal” any more often in his campaign speeches, you’d think he had some ideological form of Tourette’s...”
--Daniel A. Munz, Yale Herald, April 23, 2004

There’s no such thing as a stupid question. Really.
“Yale Herald: What is the most efficient way to ensure that terrorists will not be in charge? Charles Hill: Kill them.”
--Mark Nanin, Yale Herald, April 23, 2004

The problem with a thinking administration... “The trouble in Iraq is that the Bush administration thinks that groups with political motivations are fighting against the creation of a democratic Iraq...”
--Ryan Sheely, Yale Herald, April 23, 2004

Government corruption should only be a last resort.
“This should not necessarily be done by reviving patronage and government corruption but rather by awarding contracts to a variety of local businesses in addition to the American companies that are already working to rebuild the country.”
--Ryan Sheely, Yale Herald, April 23, 2004

Everyone loved how slick Clinton handled Kosovo.
“The Kosovo war showed that a war for human rights and against oppression, fought by a slick Democrat, plays far better with world public opinion than all that red-neck bull about dangers to national security.”
--John Laughland, Yale Herald, April 23, 2004

Imperialism with a smile?
“Kerry offers Americans the chance to put a multilateral, humanitarian, credible face on their hawkish instincts.”
--Daniel A. Munz, Yale Herald, April 23, 2004

Did you know Kerry was President of Massachusetts?
“On domestic issues, Kerry has worked hard to show that he knows he’ll be president of the United States, not just president of Massachusetts.”
--Daniel A. Munz, Yale Herald, April 23, 2004


 
 

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