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Media Watch
Yale Notes
April 2003

Media Watch

The YDN shows signs of improvement.
“Monday’s op-ed page would have made John Stuart Mill weep.”
— Sahm Adrangi, YDN, 3/10/03

If by “criticize Israel,” you mean “describe 9/11 as a Zionist conspiracy”…
“Bakara has always been provocative, but his status as a virulent hatemonger really began last October. That’s when he criticized Israel.”
— Sahm Adrangi, YDN, 3/10/03

The last time SJP condemned suicide bombings.
“When was the last time [the ADL] condemned the defamation of Muslims and Arab- Americans?”
— Sahm Adrangi, YDN, 3/10/03

By “everyone,” he means Serge Lang.
“A first draft of suggestions was presented to the entire committee on Sun., Feb. 23, with a document slated for public release after spring break for ‘everyone [to] yell at,’ Physics and Astronomy Professor Charles Bailyn, chair of the physical sciences subcommittee, joked.”
— Evelyn Shih, The Yale Herald, 3/6/03

Criminals are people too!
“It is obvious to any member of the Yale community that the Yale police engages in socio-economic profiling.”
— Evelyn Malave and Julian Perez, The Yale Herald, 3/6/03

College education, the latest addition to federal sentencing guidelines
“It is more expensive to keep someone in jail for a year than to send them to college for the same period.”
— Evelyn Malave and Julian Perez, The Yale Herald, 3/6/03

Is philosophy the writing of dead white men?
“Is jazz the music of dead black men?”
— Evelyn Shih, The Yale Herald, 3/6/03

Don’t call us. We’ll call you.
“Cory Branan wants to spoon you.”
— Alexis Swerdloff Swerdloff, The Yale Herald, 2/28/03

Support Yale’s right to choose.
“Strikes demand choices. Strikes wreak havoc not only on the daily administration of business as usual but also on the potential for carefully maintained academic indifference.”
— Josh Eidelson, YDN, 3/3/03

Scattered, or non-existent?
“Freezing temperatures and scattered picket lines marked the first day of Yale’s weeklong strike Monday.”
— Josh Eidelson, YDN, 3/3/03

Thousands have never looked so much like dozens.
“Members of locals 34 and 35, whose numbers were estimated to be in the thousands, picketed around campus throughout the morning.”
— Shinzong Lee, YDN, 3/4/03

Who are we to impose our regime on Hitler?
“Throughout the entire briefing, Bush was being evasive and assuming he has the full support of American people. You would think we learned from our history not to impose our regime on other regimes.”
— Sarahi Uribe, YDN, 3/7/03

Going nowhere fast.
“After Levin entered the building, about 45 workers and graduate students marched in a circle and chanted union slogans.”
— Shinzong Lee, YDN, 3/5/03

Even Rousseau isn’t this lame.
“Daniel said she thinks Yale could do more to fulfill its side of the ‘social contract’ with the New Haven community.”
— Catharine Livingston, YDN, 3/30/03

Yeah, how do you think they got hurt?
“I mean, you know someone is a sweet, caring person if he takes the time to bring in one hurt puppy, but to bring in six of them!”
— Samantha Culp, The Yale Herald, 2/14/03

You haven’t met the staff of the YFP
“Personally, I can’t imagine a human being alive who wouldn’t be aroused at the sight of 16 inches of firm, fleshy rubber.”
— James Sumner, The Yale Herald, 2/14/03

Call her a slut?
“Sometimes when my girlfriend and I are out dancing, other guys will grind on my date in a really suggestive way. She says it doesn’t mean anything, but it makes me feel uncomfortable. What should I do?”
—James Sumner and Samantha Culp, The Yale Herald, 2/14/03

Demand-side economics.
“It’s important that students desire cohabitation before we begin seriously demanding it from administrators.”
— Andrew Allison, The Yale Herald, 3/30/03

No pun intended.
“Guys are so much easier to live with. There’s no beating around the bush the way you have when you’re living with seven girls.”
— Anonymous, The Yale Herald, 2/7/03

The only thing worthy of this article would be the absence of this article.
The Hipster Handbook, sadly, will never show up in The Hipster Handbook: it’s sort of meta, but the only thing worthy of the book itself is the absence of the book.”
— Matt Schneier, The Yale Herald, 2/28/03

It’s raining prune-shaped men.
“See my New-Cruch friend Anne and ask her where her new Cronkite is.”
— Matt Schneier, The Yale Herald, 2/28/03

If only the unions felt that way too.
“I don’t see Yale as this huge bank which we can tap into.”
— David Rich, The Yale Herald, 2/21/03

Oh yeah, because Bush has tortured and slaughtered his own people so many times.
“As the better angels of our nature struggle to contain men like Bush and Saddam, we are left to hope that God is on our side.”
— Jonathan Vandenburgh, The Yale Herald, 3/21/03

We thought it was the YFP’s job to make non-PC allusions…
“STDs at Yale: One in four, maybe more?”
— Caroline Massad, YDN, 3/30/03

I’d be squeamish about having AIDS.
“I decided to back out [of the HIV test] when he handed me the consent form… I was squeamish about having blood drawn.”
— Caroline Massad, YDN, 3/30/03

Ask a stupid question…
“The HIV test questionnaire had an additional section full of questions such as, “If your test comes back positive, would you feel depressed?”
— Caroline Massad, YDN, 3/30/03

So how about multilaterally?
“We can’t create democracy by unilaterally burning buildings and babies.”
— Shonu Gandhi, YDN, 3/27/03

That’s clearly false.
“We should not forget Cornel West…”
— Shonu Gandhi, YDN, 3/27/03

Sharing is caring; yearning is learning.
“And we should cherish, nurture and exalt the democracy that exists here because it is the only thing that can save the world.”
— Shonu Gandhi, YDN, 3/27/03

Maybe if we’d used the magic diplomacy lamp…
“No one mentioned that democracy is being given to Iraq in an entirely undemocratic way, or that human rights will be bestowed upon the country in a flurry of bombs.”
— Abe Koogler, YDN, 3/28/03

Pimpin’ ain’t easy.
“The Republicans were inside pimping for wealthy corporations and millionaires. And the Greens and Democrats outside protesting cuts affecting the most marginalized people. But who was pimping for the tired, sexless middle and working class?”
— Shonu Gandhi, YDN, 3/30/03

You sure showed them.
“What I’m most excited about is that we’re going to have the greatest rate of participation in our history. I think Yale is underestimating our commitment and underestimating our solidarity.”
— Bob Proto, YDN, 3/30/03

Is it not possible that the moon is made of Swiss cheese?
“Is it not possible that war with Iraq is a cynical distraction from our sputtering economy and the failure to capture Osama Bin Laden?”
— Claudio Salas, YDN, 3/4/03

So take off all your clothes…
“At first I thought I was feeling cold. But I was feeling heat. I was feeling so hot. It was the heat of a fight for fair wages.”
— Mayor John DeStefano, Jr., YDN, 3/30/03

No means no
“If we have to drag the University kicking and screaming into this partnership, we will do that.”
— Anita Seth, The Yale Herald, 3/28/03

Yale Notes

Last week, a Muslim student who had hung an American flag upside down from her window was a victim of an attempted attack. Several males attempted to break into her room. Failing at that, they left a note that read, “as [sic] muslims must die.” This kind of behavior is disgusting and has no place at a university or a free society such as ours. We ought value our own and each other’s freedom to express our opinions, no matter how misguided or offensive they may be. We are going after Saddam because he is a hateful human being who terrorizes the rest of the world and denies his people basic liberties deserved by human beings. This kind of behavior is not much better.

The unions’ strike went off with less of a bang and more of a wimper. After getting tired of standing around in the cold for a week, they decided to get back to work. I guess Mother Nature was more oppressive than Yale. Who would have guessed?!

Yale College Students for Democracy held a rally on Cross Campus last week in support of the troops. Professors Norma Thompson, Donald Kagan, and David Gelernter spoke about the war and the sacrifices made by our troops. Kudos to Matthew Loucheim BK ‘04, the man behind YCSD, for putting it together. Nice to see at least someone is in favor of liberal democracy.

Suite 13, a local sketch comedy troupe, which is usually very not funny, has hung up hilarious posters advertising a show for Wednesday, April 9 by promoting free cigarettes. If this is true, the YFP is there. Maybe we can make a killing selling them to the middle class who, with the latest cigarette tax hike in Connecticut has been officially priced out of cigarettes.What is this with Republicans and cigarettes these days?

Speaking of smoking, what has the Dean’s Office been lighting up? I’m sure YFP staff would appreciate some too. The Yale College Curriculum Review recommendations came out and include proposals to create a health studies major. Shouldn’t license to fake statistics in the name of the “public interest” at least require a college degree first? Not to even speak of liberal arts going down the drain... Oh wait, that already happened. Never mind.


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