R I N D I N G T H E A X E
From the experts themselves
“In the last year, however, the [YFP] has lost its sense of humor.…”
Remedial Media, Rumpus October
Sikhs aren't Muslims, you bigot.
“The myriad hate crimes against Muslim Americans, including the murder
of a Sikh gas station attendant….”
Nancy Levy, YDN 9/26
Like legalizing polygamy?
“We can find a hundred ways…to show our respect for other cultures,
especially Islamic ones….”
Dean James Gustave Speth, YDN 9/18
Ever wonder why?
“Every year I ask a professor for a favor, and I feel dirty.”
Frances Brown, YDN 10/2
Ever wonder why?
“[Yale Professors] will cheerfully, unscrupulously recommend me for
any position under the sun….”
Frances Brown, YDN 10/2
One of the many things that happens only to TNJ staff
“On August 17, in the City of New Haven, at a few minutes before 7AM,
some bastard stole my pants.”
Blake Wilson, The New Journal, October 2001
By high-minded you mean run by the Mafia?
“The University should be responsive to the community and high-minded.
That’s exactly the kind of public sphere a university should be, and that
won’t happen unless hospital workers are organized, unless clergymen are
organized, unless janitors are organized, unless the community is organized.”
Carlos Aramayo, quoted in The New Journal, October 2001
Think different. Like everyone else.
“I want to forge a meaningfully unique identity out there in the post-Stalinist
Anya Kmenetz, The New Journal, October 2001
It’s funny because it’s true
“’I’m usually the first voter in the morning,’ a 96-year-old in a wheelchair
told the mayor. ‘Then could you vote two or three times you think?’ the
smiling mayor asked.”
Arielle Levin Bedar, YDN 9/10
Was he that preacher on Cross Campus?
“Despite Nietzsche’s rantings, Yale’s secular campus has a surprisingly
active community of faith.”
Light & Truth, 2001 Survival Guide
…Or criminal activities
“Six days later, Yale acknowledged that Hillary Clinton, LAW ’73, would
be the Class Day speaker, precipitating a series of protests from conservative
students against what they consider her partisan views.”
-Andrew Heller, Herald 2001 Freshman Issue
Mine only tells me I’m hungry
“’Listen to the small voice inside you that says, ‘You can do this.””
-Hillary Clinton, YDN 5/21
Harvard knew something we didn’t
“While visiting Cambridge, she met a stodgy Harvard professor who readily
informed her that Harvard Law School had no competitors and needed no more
women. Clinton said her choice was made, and the Wellesley College graduate
arrived at Yale in the fall of 1969.
-Elyssa Folk on Hillary Clinton, YDN 5/21
Separate but Equal
“’While programs like FOOT and Freshperson Conference are really important,
I think that programs like Cultural Connections and OIS are extremely important
for students coming from background that has a relatively small representation
-Raina Lipsitz, YDN 6/10
When you’ve got nothing to say, scream it.
“’All methods of making a point had been exhausted, and for that reason,
we had to make it very high-profile.’”
-David Corson-Knowles, YDN 6/10
Now accepting applications
“’I am known as the sex goddess of the Yale campus,’ Julia Kots, TC
’01, purred. ‘I welcome freshmen to Yale in my own special way.’ And we
all know that when one sex goddess is gone, another takes her place.”
-Abraham D. Levitan, Herald Freshman Issue 2001
Shut the windows and stop whining.
“As things stand, students in classrooms and dorm rooms with windows
are frequently subjected to secondhand smoke coming in from outside or
sometimes from a nearby room.”
-Rachel Kamins, Herald, 09/21/01
Being on the Board of BSAY doesn’t count?
“When Yale first incorporated itself, its mission was to create the
leaders of the country. That’s still the rhetoric, but the only people
who have any ability to act as leaders are people on the board.”
-Julianna Bentes, Herald 4/20
Thank you, Captain Obvious!
“Lieberman’s ethical instincts were much more developed when he was
an undergraduate, but now I’m afraid that the roles have been reversed
and his political instincts have surpassed his ethical ones.”
-Rev. William Sloane Coffin as quoted in the YDN, 09/24
Naked frat boys are so erotic
“Eroticism and the erotic is a typically French idea,” said Robinson,
who is a major in Italian, French and English comparative literature, and
considers himself a Francophile. “I thought that nothing would be more
fitting than to have a party based on the erotic.”
The YFP does not care to know that Sarah Treem was using the
toilet when her mother attempted to reach her on September 11. In
fact, the YFP doesn’t give a crap where any of the self-absorbed
student body where on September 11.
Rumpus recently reported that the YFP and Light &
Truth have moved closer together. Sticks and stones may break
our bones, but words can never hurt us.
In Light & Truth’s freshman guide, the editors, in their
description of Mory’s, mention the popular waiter Paul. Who took
a job at the Penn Club two years ago. Some of us miss him; evidently others
haven’t noticed his absence.
Speaking of absence, Light & Truth extolled the long-time
proprietor of DelMonico’s Hatters, Joe DelMonico, speaking of him in the
present tense. Sadly, Joe had passed away earlier this year, and
is already missed. RIP.
The Krauszer’s storefront is still unoccupied. High rents do that—and
they drive the price of a sub at Gourmet Heaven up to $7. It’s all part
of the Broadway Redevelopment project, apparently.
Speaking of Broadway redevelopment, the YFP is now taking bets
on when Alexia Crawford will fold. Their jewelry looks like it was
fashioned by nursing home residents for distribution at Mardi Gras.
The YFP’s favorite poster this month is hanging from Branford
College, and we wish both to commend its owner and echo its sentiment:
Support, not Sniveling
Courage, not Cowardice
God bless America, and her Armed Forces.