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		Media Watch  Yale Notes May 2001

Media Watch 

When the Being of a Being is being a Being…
“Using a stereotype with the intention of belittling the stereotype does not make it any less of a stereotype.”
—Michael Horn, YDN  4/16/01

Newsflash: It’s been around for a while
“After a few seconds, the words ‘This fall, prepare for—‘ appeared, followed by a longer shot of a man and a woman, fully nude, apparently having sex at a desk in the stacks. The trailer ended with the words "It's coming."
—Eli Muller and Chris Rozvar, YDN  04/25/01

Greatness achieved, it appears
"Ms. Steele has quite literally slept her way to the top of her profession and is now ready to bare everything to Porn 'N Chicken."
—YDN  04/25/01

Making stuff up in 57 countries
“Ashford followed MacKinnon's celebration of the law with the optimistic announcement that the concept of sexual harassment is going global.”
—Lawyer Deborah Ashford, YDN  04/25/01

Morality in Disorganization
“Does it still need to be pointed out that African slavery and American slavery were as different as day and night, that while any kind of slavery is wrong, in Africa slavery was not tied to an organized economic structure?”
—Aisha Gayle, YDN  03/27/01

We remember the pain, mostly
“And if you only remember one thing from my columns, remember to never give up, never give in and never stop fighting the good fight.”
— Jim DiTullio’s, YDN  04/25/01

Lady Thatcher is coming?
“...suck it up, get over it, grow up and come to Class Day on May 20 to hear the speech of a visionary and remarkable woman of our own time.”
—Jim DiTullio, YDN  03/28/01

And it inhibits grammar
“That turquoise dress is very Jessica Rabbit and very an ugly color.”
—Lisa Cohen, YDN  03/27/01

Newspeak is double plus good.
“Ice cream is richer and creamier, so it has a better mouth-feel,” she said, “and some people find that more pleasing tastebud-wise.”
— Karen Dougherty, YDN  03/27/01

The horrors of modern technology
“Stephanie, like several students interviewed for this article, said the combination of credit cards and Internet access, through the Yale network can be deadly. ‘I do most of my shopping online,” she said. “It’s so easy to spend though. You just point and click.’”
— James Collins, YDN  03/27/01

If you wear a tin foil hat it goes away
“It puts out enormous noise. It’s incredible. It gets in your head, and it spins around in there forever. And it’s not just me.”
—Professor Vincent Scully, YDN 03/27/01.

Yeah, it’d better harm everyone!
“The drug war so disproportionately affects poor people and people of color that this law is directed to act on those people who have historically been oppressed. The only people who will be harmed by this are people who are poor, and that’s not justice.”
—Stephen Osserman, YDN  04/13/01

You’re not near the YFP range
“It seems fine from where I’m at. I don’t hear gun shots.”
—Megan Huth, YDN  04/13/01

Intellectual curiosity inappropriate in a Yale education
“When she asked my gay friend, ‘Have you always liked boys?’ I began to wonder whether she would make a good Bulldog.”
— Nicole Lim, YDN  04/06/01

Lies
“What is it about the Clintons that inspires such hatred from the right-wing elements of this great nation and even our own campus?”
— Jim DiTullio, YDN  03/28/01 

Tailgunner Joe McCarthy
“No one seems to respect the fact she is a United States Senator and, if for that reason alone, worthy of our respect and courtesy when she arrives May 20.”
— Jim DiTullio, YDN  03/28/01 

Except without the shooting
"White people are so scared of black people / they bulldoze out to the country / and put up houses on little loop-de-loop streets / and while America gets its heart cut right out of its chest / the Berlin Wall still runs down Main Street / separating East from West."
—Ani DiFranco, YDN  04/06/01

Didn’t you learn how to read in prison?
“Finally, we have Joe De Feo’s cover article, which, in chows with the rest of the YFP decries the liberal-pinko-feminist-conspiracy, this time in relation to world population control efforts.”
—Rumpus, April 2001

“Population control is antidemocratic, illiberal, and imperialist.”
—Joseph De Feo, YFP March 2001

A world of difference
“While the idea of a female stripper was unappealing and objectifying, the prospect of a male stripper sounded funny and rebellious.”
—Tova Feldmanstern, Aurora Summer 2001

We thought so too
“I figured that since we would be the employers and they the employees, we the clothed and they the naked, we the majority and they the minority, that the power would lie in our hands.”
— Tova Feldmanstern, Aurora Summer 2001

Some like it hot
“She was unfazed when I informed her that her crotch had been ignited while she was blindfolded.”
 — Tova Feldmanstern, Aurora Summer 2001

That’s nothing alcohol can’t fix
“For me, there was no way to have fun at the party because I was painfully aware of each human being in the room—complete with body, mind, hormones and feelings.”
— Tova Feldmanstern, Aurora Summer 2001

Never leave home without it
“We carry the problem of gender-specific libido (passive for women, active for men) everywhere, to classes, to parties, to strip shows.”
— Tova Feldmanstern, Aurora Summer 2001

Tomorrow is another day
“While my crotch remained unscathed, I left the party feeling deeply sad and disappointed.”
— Tova Feldmanstern, Aurora Summer 2001

Cue the violin
“People are not perfect. Who likes to think he or she is a baby? Crying. Helpless. Completely dependent on others. Not many people. But I find great comfort in the one certainty of being a baby: you grow.”
—Jane Kim, Korean American Journal Winter/Spring 2001

For once, the YFP agrees with you
“Getting shit-faced together is a good bonding experience.”
—Jason Brody, Korean American Journal Winter/Spring 2001

Unlike at Yale?
“When Asians make up 35 percent of the five thousand students in your high school, with no Caucasian majority, a lot of pride about Asian identity develops and people tend to be ‘cliquey’. Asians will isolate themselves in the cafeteria and only talk to other Asians.”
— Jason Brody, Korean American Journal Winter/Spring 2001

What else can you say to a Keynesian?
“We’re in my Econ class and I think this is a secret society thing, or something. Usually people yell stuff out, like ‘The projector’s not on!’ or ‘Could you repeat that?’, but just a second ago, this guy yells, ‘Penis!’ and our prof was like, ‘Excuse me?’, and then somebody else screamed ‘Vagina!’ and our poor professor just completely lost it.”
—Morgan Babst, YDN Magazine, May 2001

Start scrubbing
“But the bathroom walls remind of us of  [sic] the need for empowerment in more serious ways.”
—Megan Pugh, YDN Magazine, May 2001

Home, sweet home
“In Winter, Matthew returned to America. Flies laid eggs in frozen pumpkins. Dogs pissed on men too drunk to wake. Uncle raped everything he could find.”
—Matthew Baldwin, YDN Magazine, May 2001

And you are not among them
“In the course of developing the Yale Journal of Human Rights, we have discovered that Yale is a place abundant in students and teachers who do human rights.”
—Yale Journal of Human Rights Spring 2001

Duh! E-mail joseph.defeo@yale.edu
“In case you haven't noticed, there's a vast right-wing conspiracy brewing on campus.”
—Jim DiTullio’s, YDN 03/28/01

Yale Notes

Yale Free Press contributor Casey Lee was listed as a staff member of the Korean American Journal in its last issue.  The YFP cannot think of any way to make this note more insulting to him.

Yale has finally terminated its relationship with former Saybrook Master Antonio Lasaga, who admitted to owning thousands of pieces of child pornography as part of a plea agreement.  It is likely that he will accept a job offer at either the Brooklyn Museum of Art or Princeton University’s Center for Human Values.  

In the past year, the Yale Review of Books has improved greatly, and much less resembles the publication the YFP previously called "either non-commital and vague or rabid and incoherent."  We hope they keep doing what they're doing, or refrain from doing what they had been doing.

Hillary Clinton—She’s the only one wearing pants in that family.

Cereals available at Gourmet Heaven:

• King Kamut Crisp
• Heritage Bites
• Gorilla Munch
• Koala Crisp (The YFP notes with sadness that there are no Koalas in Koala Crisp.)
• EnviroKidz Organic Amazon Frosted Flakes
• Orangutan-O's

Urban Outfitters has taught us the valuable and frightening lesson that kitsch can in fact be mass produced.  Guy Debord predicted this one.