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September 2000

G R A P H I C    V I O L E N C E

"Hello, you have activated your finely crafted Smith & Wesson firearm. Due to Federal regulations, your firearm has been equipped with a state-of-the-art safety system." 

"If this is an emergency, please press nine, and a customer service representative will assist you shortly. Please remain on the line -- your call is important to us." 

"If you are a five-year-old child, put the gun down." 

"If you are a homicidal teenager, put the gun down." 

"If you are a militia member, put the gun down." 

"If you know the type of crime being commited, please enter the name of the crime, followed by the pound sign. <BEEP>M-U-D-D-E-R is not a valid name of a crime. Please hang up and try again when you can remember the name of the crime."

The Yale Free Press is published by students ofYale University. 
Yale University is not responsible for its 
contents. By the same
token, The Yale Free Press is not responsible for the contents of Yale



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