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THE BEST OF GRINDING THE AXE 1999-2000
Media Watch 
Yale Notes
September 2000

Media Watch

He must be a feminist 
"Actually, I made that statistic up -- but it's probably not too far from the truth." 
     --Andrew Paciorek, YDN  Freshman Issue 

Investigative reporting 
"Graduate students had both reason to be optimistic and pessimistic last year." 
     --YDN staff, YDN Freshman Issue 

If by "Adam Smith," you mean "my ass" 
"According to Adam Smith and his capitalistic ideas, they need to stop holding onto the past and try to do something more productive, therefore they would no longer be such a financial burden on society." 
     --Alice J. Lee, type 2000 

This just in
"YCC is not a menace" 
     -YDN, headline 1/13/00 

... like majestic horses of argument 
"Americans have reared their  heads in debate...." 
      --Yale Political Quarterly, 12/99 

It's called a riot 
"There was democracy in the streets." 
      --Terra Lawson-Remer as quoted in the Herald, 1/21/00 

I have the attention span of a five-year-old 
 "No one would dispute, I'm sure, that the first half of any two hour academic activity is more productive than the last half." 
     --Henry Whitaker, YDN 10/22/99 

Also why the Italians are so economically disadvantaged 
"Media have divided the working class and stereotyped young African-American males as gangsters or drug dealers.  As a result of such treatment, the media have crushed the youths' prospects for future employment and advancement." 
     --Yale Political Quarterly 10/99 

What if that intruder is the government? 
 "How many guns does a person need to protect his home from an intruder? Certainly not more than one a month." 
     --Joni Kletter, YDN 10/22/99 

Oh, the humanity 
"....American born Puerto Rican who visited the island and saw white tourists being waited on by Puerto Ricans. They resorted to violence out of frustration and to gain attention, Fernandez said." 
     --YDN 11/20/99 

The Father, the Son, and the Holy Pimp 
"Bassist, poet, entrepreneur, one-time pimp, activist, and arguably the greatest American composer of the century, Charles Mingus conceived of himself as three." 
     --Journal of American Contemporary Culture, January 2000 

Stone Cold Zarathustra 
"Regardless of whether Nietzsche's vision of the ubermensch is correct, it's undeniable that professional wrestling allows enormous masses of Americans to satisfy their most primitive urges to get pleasure out of pain." 
     --Journal of American Contemporary Culture, January 2000 

Feminist Dialogue 
"Conversations with Miss Piggy were more constructive/(once upon a time)/But now she blushes gray and/remains silent/and won't even conjure up a frown for me 
     --"Untitled," digressions, 1999 

From Stephen King's The Sanding 
"Wonderful snow falls on deaf ground, ignored and left to suffer death-by-sanding come dawn." 
     --The New Journal, Vol. 32, No.4 

Determinist 
"Yale alone is responsible for destroying my moral code." 
     --Ezra  Rosser, type 2000 

True, dat 
"The last century has shown and this century continues to show that the belief to own the absolute truth is dangerous and dumb." 
     --YDN 2/16/00 

America, Queen of the Desert 
"However, since the invasion was performed by encirclement--the U.S. framed Noriega's removal as part of domestic policy, as part of the war on drugs--it amounted to female rape. Thus the U.S, becomes a transvestite body: its 'real' identity is male, yet it behaves like a female. In order to appear straight and masculine, the U.S. ends up acting queer." 
     --Review of Books, Winter 1999 

No picture? 
"The position in which [Naomi] Wolf found herself is not an uncommon one among women." 
     -- Emily Levine, YDN  11/9/9 

He writes for The New Journal 
"His generalizations sweep, his criticisms fly freely and his tone is unduly grave." 
     --The New Journal, 10/15/99 

Both directed by young blacks 
"American society has now accepted these stereotypes which the film media have ascribed to the black community. Films such as Boyz in [sic] the Hood  and Menace II Society have become multi-million dollar success stories with criminal portrayals of young blacks." 
     --Yale Political Quarterly 10/99 

For "modern China," read "1930's Germany." 
"Full human rights in modern China are an impossibility, and punishing China by isolating and condemning it will only hinder the progress that is possible." 
     -- Letter to the Editor, Herald, 10/15/99 

Active role = forced abortion 
"Countries like China have taken an active role in fighting the population explosion with legislation that limits each couple to only one child. This law seems alien and oppressive to Westerners, but it is a real necessity in a nation as huge and dense in population as China." 
     --Alex DeMille, Herald, 10/15/99 

And as a capitalist people, we have the right to practice exploitation
"As an Islamic people, we have the right to practice bigamy. We can wed East and West and be faithful to both." 
     --King Hassan II, as quoted in YDN, 10/15/99 

More media lies
"I soon found out I can't beat up everybody all day, every day." 
     --James Avery, (Uncle Phil) as quoted in YDN 11/20/99 

Bradley and Gore switched parties?
"The Reform Party thus offers a choice between a tiresome, fist-pounding, failed demagogue and a man without integrity who would attempt to buy the Presidency outright with the billions in his pocket." 
     --Saurav Sarkar, Herald 10/8/99 

[Insert typical gay joke here. Keep it to six words or less and MAKE IT FUNNY] 
"But unfortunately, most other people on this campus seem unwilling to be prodded in that way." 
     --Thom Cantey in an article about Coming Out Day, Herald, 10/8/99 

Group III -- Birthplace of Evil 
"What group do the future eminent lawyers, governors, psychologists, humanitarians, labor organizers, and social scientists indulge in? Why, Group III, of course." 
     --Yale Herald Freshman Issue, 2000 

Group III -- for freshmen with Christ complexes. 
"Group III students are on the road to saving humanity, and they are starting their work as undergrads." 
     --Yale Herald Freshman Issue, 2000 

"Ever-changing" because they can't get it right 
"While everyone else busily studies what is known, we choose to focus on ever-changing theories and studies." 
     --Jay Munir, Yale Herald Freshman Issue, 2000 
 

The Best of Yale Notes

The sociology department is looking to hire five new senior professors. The philosophy department is looking to hire ... anybody. Or anything. A ferret ... a table lamp... 

From the 1999-2000 Yale Freshman Counselor Handbook (we are not making this up): p. 95, "Resources for Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, and Trans-gendered at Yale ... The Lesbian Avengers is a direct action group focusing on issues on lesbian survival and visability. Are you a lesbian or a transgendered person willing to do shit work, agitate for change, run actions, run topless, eat fire, or generally f*ck sh*t up? Then the Lesbian Avengers is right for you!" Nice to know Yale's hard-core, anti-establishment lesbians get this ringing endorsement from the Yale administration. Kids, you're not "f*cking sh*t up" if your freshman counselor is helping. 

University spends 500 million on science hill renovations. In other breaking news, the philosophy department gets its own electric pencil sharpener. 

At UPenn, students protesting sweatshops have occupied the office of the President of the University, who is refusing to speak to them, or yield to their demands. If this happened at Yale, you better believe the YFP would occupy the next office over, demanding that the president remain firm. 

The YFP asks: Should zoning regulations apply to the House of Being? 

Unionized dining hall workers seem to have just noticed that the dining hall food sucks. Do you think that this sudden outcry has to do with the fact they are suddenly under non-union management? 

 

 
The Yale Free Press is published by students ofYale University. 
Yale University is not responsible for its 
contents. By the same
token, The Yale Free Press is not responsible for the contents of Yale
University.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

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