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G R I N D I N G    T H E    A X E
Media Watch 
Yale Notes
October 2000

Media Watch

Easy Reader 
“[Erica] Jong said a man once approached her at a party to share his use for the novel. He told her that if he saw it on a woman’s night table, he knew he would get lucky, she said.” 
     --Alexis Wolff, YDN, 9/27/00 

Deep Thought 
“Jong explained that telling the truth in writing does not mean telling the absolute truth. There is no absolute truth since thoughts and feelings are subjective. ‘If it’s true to me, then it’s my truth,’ she explained.” 
     --Alexis Wolff, YDN, 9/27/00 

Eubank on EricaJong? 
“Here we have some of the poor-reasoning icing on our bad methodology cake.” 
     --Brooks Eubank, YDN, 9/27/00 

“Ted Kennedy is a fighter. He fights for all Americans. But he’s also a survivor.” 
     --Jim DiTullio, YDN, 9/27/00 

End injustice. Hire blind policemen. 
“The police of Hamden are doing racial profiling. They see skin color.” 
     --Reverend W. David Lee, as quoted in the Herald, 09/22/00 

No comprendo 
“Language is something that excludes people, I think.” 
     --Bill Lann Lee, Chinese-American Journal

As long as we’re bureaucrats 
“Whether it’s his battle to raise the minimum wage, to establish a system of universal health care coverage for every American, to protect the judiciary from becoming a place for extreme right wing fanatics, to ensure that our public schools get the funding they need and deserve, or to keep the social safety net strong and stable, he is fighting the good fight for each and every one of us.” 
     --Jim DiTullio, YDN, 9/27/00 

Larry Flynt, cross-dresser? 
“Boreman and MacKinnon, in contrast, argue that the sheep is a woman living in a patriarchy of wolves and brand Flynt and other pornographers wolves in sheep’s clothing.” 
     --Jessican Bulman, The New Journal, 09/08/00 

That doesn’t explain AmStud 
“...administrators must remember the University’s primary mission: teaching young people to love learning and pursue the good.” 
     --YDN editorial, 09/29/00 

We’d rather you have that beer, too 
“So yippee! I’ve reached adulthood, the age of majority. And you know what, I’m beginning to feel like I don’t even want my right to vote. The United States can even take it away from me. I’d much rather have a beer instead.” 
     -- J. Michelangelo Stein, YDN 09/29/00 

And the YFP wants your lunch money 
“Yale struck me as a huge intellectual playground.” 
     --Bill Lann Lee, Chinese-American Journal 

Courage v. Democracy? 
“When the Vermont Supreme Court ruled that gays were being treated unequally because the state did not allow them a union similar to marriage, state lawmakers courageously passed a bill legalizing civil unions for same-sex couples, knowing possible repercussions.” 
     --Ethan Guillen, Herald, 09/22/00 

Poetry is something that excludes people, I think 
“Sadness is when beauty stirs the darkness and ugliness of/ hatred./ Why.../ Because we are different./ Such is painful reality.” 
     --Judy Leung, Chinese-American Journal 

What do they drip now? 
“On the Yale intramural tackle football fields, of the late 1960’s, young men dripped with sweat.” 
     --Michael Horn, YDN 9/12/00 

Medieval Gay Episcopalians? 
“For example, Christ Church Episcopal is a center of gay activism whose services are nonetheless more medieval than most Roman Catholic ones....” 
     --Light & Truth, September 2000 

Oh, you mean the PEAR dream! 
”Yes, I dreamt the dreams that all men dream.” 
     --Onaje Woodbine, YDN, 09/08/00 

57 varieties of food poisoning 
“With a mandatory plan that includes 21 meals per week, freshmen face an almost limitless number of temptations among the hot entrees as well as the salad, waffle, pasta, sandwich, and dessert bars, not to mention the endless varieties of soda and cereal.” 
     --Katie Malizia, Herald, 09/22/00 

Pro-worker = raising unemployment? 
“When the GOP Congress waged war on American workers, Kennedy stood strong against anti-worker legislation and even succeeded in shepherding his own minimum wage increase through the halls of Congress until it received a presidential signature.” 
     --Jim DiTullio, YDN, 9/27/00 

Great moments in Western history 
“I’ve managed to break world records and a few of the laws of physics (the less popular ones) with the speed at which I eat my food....” 
     --Ramey Ko, Herald, 09/22/00 

The Oracle of Nairobi
Every man must distinguish between external comforts and internal truths. Every man must learn from the great traditions of northern Africa, and “Know Thyself.” 
     --Onaje Woodbine, YDN, 09/08/00 

That’s Crassus, Pompey, and Caesar... you idiot. 
“Brutus, Pompey and Caesar. Lepidus, Augustus and Marc Antony. And then there’s deans Trachtenberg, Letriz-Nunez and Greene.” 
     --Jamie Schuman, YDN, 09/11/00 

Measured in metric tons? 
“No matter what their political leaning, few political observers would argue that Ted Kennedy isn’t among the 10 greatest U.S. senators of all time.” 
     --Jim DiTullio, YDN, 9/27/00 

The only student activist who didn’t dodge the draft 
“Even Nathan Hale, executed by the British for spying during the Revolution, can be considered a student activist.” 
     --Jacob Remes, YDN, 10/2/00 

Telos of myriad pretensions 
“Is there some telos to the myriad of classes that I can take over the course of four years?” 
     --Justin Zaremby, Light & Truth, September 2000 

As if Yale Leftism had brainwaves or a pulse 
“Armed with the rusty scissors of Truth and the worn-out vacuum of Mixed Metaphor, Eubank performs a biweekly partial-birth abortion on Yale Leftism on this very page, on alternate Wednesdays.” 
     --YDN, 9/27/00 

I’m your density ... I mean, I’m your destiny 
“To the contrary, I want to say that when it was time to leave, I left. I want to look at my fellow classmates on graduation day and say: “I have become the person I was meant to be.” 
     --Onaje Woodbine, YDN, 09/08/00 

Pontius Pilate, conservative 
“The Conservative knows that society cannot be perfected by some new and fresh folderol; he knows that political actions are not to be based on and formed by the machinations of some self-proclaimed genius. He knows that new visions and plans most often destroy the order and peace that were fostered and maintained through the traditions and absolutes that these new ideas so vehemently attack.” 
     --Matthew Medearis and Christopher Arendt, Light & Truth, September 2000 

Yale Notes

Suggestions for spending our $10 billion endowment:

  • relocate entire campus (including buildings) to St. Croix 
  • wouldn’t Yale look cool under a dome? 
  • missile defense system 
  • invade Harvard with fire ants 
  • replace the Doodle, Mory’s, and Broadway liquor with pricey clothing stores 
  • New Haven could use an international airport 
It’s great that Yale thinks a chi-chi Kwik-E-Mart called “Gourmet Heaven” will replace a real 24-7 convenience store. Krauszer’s supplanter won’t be able to sell cigarettes and we have no guarantees that it’ll be open all night. Another brilliant example of the University’s attempt to outthink the market — like when the Bookstore tried to sell hand-crafted, all-natural, not-from-concentrate Dutch cocoa and spices. Of course, no one bought them, so the Bookstore had to slash prices. Maybe Gourmet Heaven will provide a similar windfall — at its closing, everything-must-go sale a year or two down the line. 

Joe Lieberman — an end to pork-barrel politics. 

To the YDN’s credit, they recently ran two good editorials, both written by Ben Trachtenberg. On 09/29, they called for Yale to spend the endowment not on flashy science gadgets, but on —seriously, folks — philosophy professors. You’d almost think it was the Yale Free Press. Also, on 09/09, Trachtenberg penned an editorial denouncing last year’s theft of Light & Truth by freshman counselors. (Although we can’t help but mention that getting their paper stolen by lefty goons was the best thing thatt ever happened to them.) 

In light of a budget surplus, the Connecticut legislature recently decided to repeal the sales tax on textbooks.  Though this has been touted at Yale as a means of making education more affordable, the YFP feels obliged to express its concern that it seems to be yet another tax cut for the wealthy elite, the people who need it least. 


The Yale Free Press is published by students ofYale University. 
Yale University is not responsible for its 
contents. By the same
token, The Yale Free Press is not responsible for the contents of Yale



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