|
Hineni-here I am at Yale, at Joseph Slifka
Center for Jewish Life, at the beginning of a new year. New
life, new town, new year. What does it all mean? This Rosh
Hashanah, I hear echoes of ancient roll calls: the hineni of
our father Abraham and the hin'ni of the hazzan, the cantor,
throughout the centuries.
On Rosh Hashanah, we read the story of the Akeidah,
the Binding of Isaac (Genesis 22). "Abraham," God calls.
"Hineni, here I am," answers Abraham. Abraham, our father,
answering God like a son answering a father, a student
answering a professor. "Father," says Isaac, Abraham's son,
and Abraham answers, "Hineni, b'ni, here I am, son." Then an
angel of the Lord calls to Abraham from heaven: "Abraham!
Abraham!" and Abraham answers, "Hineini, here I am."
Abraham has answered "Hineni" three times; responding
to God, his parent, Isaac, his son, and perhaps to himself
as he realizes the horror of the sacrifice he was saved from
committing.
"Hin'ni," chants the cantor, "Here I am, impoverished
in merit, trembling in awe in front of You, God. I've come
here to stand and plead in front of you on behalf of the
people Israel, who have sent me."
With the words and melody of the Hin'ni prayer, the
cantor, the shaliach tzibor, the emissary of the community,
prepares to represent a holy kahal, a congregation, to
advocate with God on its behalf.
The prayer probably dates from medieval times; its
authorship is unknown. The hazzanim of nineteenth century
Eastern Europe added drama to their recitations of the
prayer by approaching the bimah from the rear of the
synagogue as they chanted.
A story is told of Hazzan Joseph Altshul of Slonim.
His choir would stand on the bimah awaiting his entrance.
One choir member would call out, "Where is the hazzan?" The
cantor would answer, "Hineni, here I am." A second choir
member would call, "Why are you standing in the doorway?"
The cantor would reply, "He'ani, I am poor." Then the choir
would ask, "Do you need money?" Hazzan Altshul would
continue his rendition and elucidate, "He'ani mima'as, I am
poor in deeds."
From a musical viewpoint, it is interesting to note
that the Hin'ni chant does not have any fixed melody or
motives; the cantor must create it from within, drawing on
the gamut of modes and melodies from the entire High Holy
Day liturgy. As a female cantor, I face an additional
challenge when chanting this prayer. The "Hin'ni" is written
entirely in masculine language, from the conjugated verb
forms to the imagery. "Accept my prayer as the prayer of an
old one, accustomed to saying this prayer... with a long
beard and a pleasing voice." The pleasing voice I love; the
long beard of an old hazzan is more of a leap for me to
make.
For the last seven years, I have served as a cantor of
Reform congregations in the suburbs of New York and New
Jersey. Now I'm in a new New-New Haven, having answered a
call to become a part of the Yale community. What can I, as
a cantor, as a woman, as Naomi Hirsch, bring to this new
place? What will saying "Hineni" at Yale Hillel mean for me?
As we begin a new year, how can we be fully
present to the roll calls we may hear? What does it mean to
say, "Hineni, I am here?" How shall we enter a new place and
make the minhag ha-makom, the local customs, our own?
This year, may each of us be privileged to hear a call to
which we can respond, "Hineni, here I am." "Hineni," not out
of fear of being tested like Abraham. "Hineni," not merely
because we were called, like the cantor by his choir, but
"Hineni," because we brought ourselves to this new place.
Naomi Hirsch is the Acting Assistant Director of Yale
Hillel.
|