Sexual Harassment and Assault Resources & Education (SHARE) | 203.432.6653
Definitions
What is sexual assault?
Sexual assault is any undesired physical contact of a sexual nature perpetrated against another person. While associated with rape, sexual assault is much broader.
According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, sexual assault is any type of sexual activity that you do not agree to, including:
- inappropriate touching
- vaginal, anal, or oral penetration
- rape/sexual intercourse that you say “no” to
- rape
- attempted rape
- child molestation
Sexual assault and rape can be perpetrated by a date, a friend, an acquaintance, a family member, someone in authority, or a stranger.
Sexual assault and rape may be accomplished by physical force but also by overpowering another by intimidation, and/or threat of force. The psychological damage done by this intimate violation may be substantial, both in cases where long-lasting physical injury is sustained and in cases where there is not a long-lasting physical injury. Anyone is a potential victim of sexual assault and rape.
Sexual assault happens to both men and women regardless of race, class, religion, sexual orientation, age and ability. Perpetrators of sexual assault can also be a man or woman from any race, class, religion, sexual orientation, age and ability.
What is the definition of acquaintance rape and date rape?
Acquaintance rape is a non legal term used to highlight the fact that most victims know their assailants. Acquaintance rape is defined as a person being subjected to unwanted sexual intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, or other sexual contact through the use of force or threat of force by someone known to the victim. Sexual coercion is defined as unwanted sexual intercourse, or any other sexual contact subsequent to the use of menacing verbal pressure or misuse of authority (Koss, Hidden Rape: Sexual Aggression and victimization in the national sample of students in higher education, 1988).
- Acquaintance rape is one of the most common types of rape.
- Over two thirds of all sexual assault victims between the ages of 18-29 reported having a prior relationship with their attacker (Bureau of Justice Statistics, 1997).
- Like stranger rape, acquaintance rape is a crime of violence and an attempt by the attacker to assert power.
- When someone is sexually assaulted he or she may experience a wide range of reactions such as:
shock |
depression |
embarrassment |
disbelief |
anger |
mood swing |
fear |
denial |
irritability |
restlessness |
apathy |
disturbed sleep |
changes in eating habits |
- Victims of acquaintance rape experience the same reactions to the assault as victims of stranger rape, although loss of self esteem appears to be a particular problem when the perpetrator is known to the victim.
- Survivors of acquaintance rape may also feel guilty or responsible for the assault.
- Survivors of acquaintance rape may also question their judgment and/or have difficulty trusting people.
- Coping may be more difficult for a victim of date and acquaintance rape because of a failure of others to recognize that the emotional impact is just as serious.
Date rape is defined in the same manner as acquaintance rape but with the focus on the dating relationship. Date rape is any forced or coerced sexual activity within a dating relationship. This is also a non legal term that highlights the fact that most victims know their assailants.
- Date rape often occurs in a context that is confusing for both the rapist and the victim.
- Throughout their lives men are conditioned to act aggressively and to experiment with sex as part of their masculinity.
- Men may sometimes believe that spending money on a woman entitles him to sex at the end of the date.
- If a man has previously had sex with a woman, he may now believe that he now has the right to have sex with her again whenever he desires.
- A man may feel that if a woman has aroused him, then she is required to give in to his desire to have sex.
- While their behavior may legally constitute rape, many teen and adult males do not think of themselves as rapists.
- The victim may also be unclear about whether or not she has been raped.
- A victim of acquaintance or date rape may also believe the myths which are pervasive about sexual assault.
- The victim may fail to label forced sex by someone she knows as rape.
- If the victim does label the attack as rape, she may feel that she will not be believed if she reports the attack.
- If the victim was using drugs or alcohol at the time of the forced sex, she may also be reluctant to report the crime, especially if she is under age.
Acquaintance and date rape remains a controversial topic because of confusion around the definition of consent (see next section). Unclear or ambiguous situations in which consent is not clearly given are likely to be interpreted as rape. It is important to remember that sex with someone who is drunk, asleep, passed out, or in any compromised state is a crime because he or she is unable to give legal consent. Drinking alcohol or taking drugs appears to be associated with acquaintance and date rape.
Date and acquaintance rape statistics*
- Of rapes reported, 84% raped knew their attacker.
- Out of these 84%, 57% of rapes occurred on dates.
- In 1985 3,187 of 6,159 female college students surveyed reported:
- 328 rapes
- 534 attempted rapes
- 837 episodes of sexual coercion (intercourse of continual argument or pressure)
- 2,024 experiences of unwanted sexual contact
- Out of these 3,187 women:
- 15.3% were raped
- 11.2% were sexually coerced
- 14.5% experienced sexual contact against their will
- 11.8% experienced attempted rape
- Of those who were raped, 42% told no one: 5% reported the rape to police, and 5% sought help at a rape crisis center.
- 1 in 12 male students surveyed committed acts that met legal definitions of rape or attempted rape.
- Only 27% of women whose sexual assault met the legal definition of rape thought of themselves as rape victims.
- 30% of women who were raped contemplated suicide
- 82% of the women who were raped said that the experience permanently changed them.
*
Warshaw, R.(1988). I Never Called it Rape. New York, New York: Harper & Row.
Koss, Mary: University of Arizona Medical School Professor, survey of college women: National Institute of Health, 1987.
What is the definition of consent?
Intimate sexual activity requires consent. Consent is defined as a verbal agreement to engage in a specific activity. Body language, such as a smile, a nod, a wink, or a pat on the shoulder is not consent. One should presume that there is no consent in the absence of a clear, verbal, positive indication of consent. Verbal communication prior to engaging in sexual activity helps to clarify for the individuals involved whether or not there is consent. Consent and non-consent comes in many forms, and it is important for all sexually active persons to seek clarity and mutuality with regard to the consensual nature of their sexual activity.
Failure to obtain consent can have consequences ranging from deep feelings of hurt and betrayal to charges of the crime of sexual assault. If a person is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, passed out, asleep, or in any compromised state, he or she cannot give legal consent. In these circumstances, someone may seem to go along with what is happening, but if he or she is in a compromised state, he or she can not legally give consent. Additionally, if someone has given consent in the past that does not mean that it applies to the present.
The use of alcohol or other drugs can cloud someone’s understanding of whether consent has been given (or even sought). It is also important to recognize that, however potentially awkward it may seem, talking about your own and your partner’s sexual desires, needs, and limitations is a basis for a positive relationship.
What are “date rape drugs”?
The three most common “date rape drugs” are Alcohol, GHB and Rohypnol or “roofies”.
Alcohol: Alcohol lowers a person’s inhibitions and interferes with their judgment and decision-making, which makes for potentially dangerous sexual situations. In one situation, deciding to have sex with someone while you are under the influence can put you in an embarrassing predicament the next morning. In another situation, it can cause you to be the victim of sexual assault or leave you with a serious condition such as AIDS or other sexually transmitted illnesses (STI’s). For most individuals, keeping to a low risk drinking limit (3 or fewer drinks per occasion) prevents intoxication, minimizing the risk for sexual assault.
Some important facts from the American Council for Drug Education:
(www.factsontap.org):
- 55% of female students and 75% of male students involved in acquaintance rape admit to having been drinking or using drugs when the incident occurred.
- 60% of college women who are infected with sexually transmitted illnesses (STI’s), including genital herpes and AIDS, report that they were under the influence of alcohol at the time they had intercourse with the infected person.
- Female college freshmen are at the highest risk for sexual assault between the first day of school and Thanksgiving break. Many are away from home for the first time and unaccustomed to making personal decisions. Some may be experimenting with alcohol for the first time. For many, new friends and support systems may not yet be established, leaving them more alone than usual. Some may be targeted as vulnerable by upper classmen.
Alcohol discriminates between the sexes:
Ability to metabolize alcohol:
- Women have a smaller quantity of alcohol dehydrogenase, an enzyme that breaks down alcohol, thus causing them to become drunk on smaller amounts of alcohol.
- Men have a larger quantity of dehydrogenase, which allows them to break down the alcohol they take in more quickly.
Hormonal factors:
- Premenstrual hormonal changes cause intoxication to occur faster during the days immediately before a woman gets her period.
- Birth control pills or medicine with estrogen increase intoxication.
GHB (gamma hydroxyl butyrate), also known as liquid ecstasy, and Rohypnol or Roofies are central nervous system depressants that can cause dizziness, disorientation, loss of inhibition, memory blackouts, and loss of consciousness when mixed with alcohol. Both are odorless, colorless, and tasteless, so you may not even realize it if someone slips one of these substances into your drink. Because they may cause you to pass out, ingesting them may put you at risk for sexual assault.
What are some common “Rape Myths”?
Myth: She’s lying.
Reality: This belief is false and hides rape behind the stereotype of the vindictive woman.
Myth: No real harm was done.
Reality: Rape causes long-term debilitation in many survivors. The threat of rape affects all women all the time. This myth only serves the interest of the rapist.
Myth: She wanted it.
Reality: Women never want to be raped. The myth confuses rape as sexual desire. Rape is a violent act motivated by the need to overpower, humiliate, and dominate.
Myth: She deserved it.
Reality: Whether she was flirting, dressed attractively, engaging in certain sexual activity, and so forth, no woman (or man) ever deserves to be raped. All women (and men) have the right to say “no” at any time.
Myth: Most rapes are committed by strangers.
Reality: 80% of survivors of rape know the person who raped them.
Myth: Survivors are hysterical or angry after an assault.
Reality: People cope in a variety of ways, including joking, sleeping, drug or alcohol use, eating disorders, depression, denial, or minimizing the seriousness of the experience.
Myth: He couldn’t help it.
Reality: Men can control their sexual desires just as women can. It’s never too late to stop.
Myth: Real men don’t take no for an answer.
Reality: Cultural views of masculinity include being assertive, active, sexual, and superior, which can contribute to sexually aggressive actions. Peer pressure to have sex as proof of manhood can also increase the likelihood of rape. Men may not be trained to take no for an answer or stop when they encounter resistance (but they can learn).
Myth: She said no, but she meant yes.
Reality: Cultural views of femininity include being submissive, passive, weak, and saying no to sex, which can result in women being more vulnerable to being raped, keeping silent, and blaming themselves. Only explicit consent means “yes”.
Myth: Men are seldom, if ever raped.
Reality: Experts estimate that 1 in 6 men is sexually assaulted in his lifetime.
Myth: Most rapists are mentally disturbed and can be easily spotted.
Reality: There is no profile of a typical rapist.
Myth: Acquaintance rape is less traumatic than stranger rape.
Reality: Rape is always traumatic, whether perpetrated by a stranger or someone known to the survivor. For many survivors, acquaintance rape can have more devastating long-term repercussions because of a deep sense of betrayal and because the survivor doubts his/her ability to judge who can be trusted.
Myth: Women/Lesbians don’t rape.
Reality: Rape occurs in every community and can occur in any relationship, regardless of gender, sexuality, size, and age.
