the libertine

the whip sheet of the liberal party

issue six / 24.02.2002

zero	a message from the secretary So you didn’t see me at the YPU last week. So you can’t guarantee me a single next year—not even a psycho single. So you did better on your math midterm than I did. I forgive you. But if you’re the evil, evil person who stole my copy of Fashions of the Times from my Sunday paper, I will never forgive you. I will find you. Late at night, I will sneak into your home and render you and your family permanently out of vogue. You’ll never look good again. There is still hope. If you are the one who took my magazine, then all you have to do is give it back and nobody will get hurt, OK? Everyone in the class will close their eyes, and then the person who stole the magazine can put in on my desk, and nobody will know it’s you. –j.s.f.
one	goings on in the liberal party 25.02.2002 / Monday / 05.30 / Lib dinner We return to our post in Commons under the portrait of G.H.W. Bush. 27.02.2002 / Wednesday / 07.30 / Joint Lib-IP debate We have a special treat this week. Instead of keeping it in the party, we’ll be teaming up with the good men and women of the Independent Party for a debate on the topic “Vouchers are good for education.” Our discussion will take place in the Saybrook common room. 01.03.2002 / Friday / 10.00 / Movie night Hang out with us in the Branford TV room to watch “Starship Troopers.” If you’ve ever needed proof that fascists are more stylish than the rest of us, join us. Otherwise, join us.
two	artist of the left: barbara kruger, installation artist, videographer, and photographer Here’s a classic Kruger: she presents a Volkswagen Beetle, a lava lamp, a platform sandal and a coat hanger. The slogan? “Of all the things from the 70s to make a comeback, there’s one we’d really hate to see.” Perhaps the least subtle artist ever, Barbara Kruger creates work that uses the tropes of advertising—billboard prints, bright red headlines, pithy slogans addressed to “you”—to convey sociocultural and political messages. Some of her sayings have become landmarks: “All violence is the illustration of a pathetic stereotype.” “You construct intricate rituals that allow you to touch the skin of other men.” Even Tina Turner has been influenced: it was Kruger who first exhibited “We don’t need another hero.” In general, she begins by digitally manipulating old photographs; then, she superimposes her statements in her now iconic style: white text, Futura Bold/Italic font, red background. The gallery and the museum are no boundaries for her; she has exhibited in subway stations, on television, and on the sides of highways. Most famously, on a giant poster outside of New York’s Port Authority bus terminal, the gateway to Manhattan for a large number of underpaid and overworked maids and babysitters, she exhibited a retro-looking woman peering through a magnifying glass. “It’s a small world,” read the poster, “but not if you have to clean it.”
three	a final thought, possibly attributed to the wrong person Make it as simple as possible, but not simpler. —Albert Einstein