SALLY HELM BK ’14


NOTABLE QUOTABLE:

“Maldonio! I thought I was alone.”

ALIAS: “Little B”


HOMETOWN: Los Angeles, CA


FAVORITE ANIMAL: Pet rock


FAVORITE FOOD: Bibimbap


BIO:

Sally used to gaze longingly at the algae-covered koi pond outside her tinted window.  Unfortunately, her allergy to sunlight rendered her a prisoner in her tasteful (albeit slightly precious) bungalow. "Vampire girl!" the Twilight-averse villagers would scream on Fridays from 2-4 as they hurled stakes and garlic, which Sally dutifully collected at night; she used the garlic for sustenance and burned the stakes to keep her warm during those harsh winter months. (Sally's parents had long since abandoned her in their quest to find the world's happiest clam.) Eventually, Sally had had enough. She now spends her days reclining by the koi pond, her hideously burned and pock-marked face both a consequence of exposure to sunlight and a testament to her determination.